[Israel.pm] Some Funny IRC Conversations

Shlomi Fish shlomif at iglu.org.il
Sat Apr 12 01:28:07 PDT 2008

Hi all!

I'm including here a few funny (or hopefully funny at least) IRC conversations 
that took place recently, and which I added to the bottom of 
http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/shlomif . I omitted two 

1. One that mentions a certain girl (not by name), along with some sex-talk. I 
don't think it's offensive but I'm not taking chances (search for "QBasic was 
the sh*t!").

2. One in which we emulate some famous phrases about the Third Reich (but more 
universal in message). See "graphics I did in crayon" there.

But here are the rest. Feel free to comment on them as they may start 
interesting conversations on Perl-IL and/or Hackers-IL.


	Shlomi Fish

       -->  spx2 has joined #soc-help
    <spx2>  I want to FIGHT FOR PERL IN GSOC !
    <spx2>  I feel the power of metal in my veins
    <spx2>  perl is flowing in my blood !
    <spx2>  What perl Armies can I join this YEAR ?
    <ambs>  spx2: a lot :)
    <spx2>  ambs: Hail BRETHREN !
    <spx2>  where are the armies ???
    <spx2>  I want to ENGAGE and start preparing my weapons !
    <spx2>  ambs: what projects are this year ?
    <ambs>  spx2: ideas at
    <spx2>  I will fight this year in the PERL battle !
 <rindolf>  spx2: Python is for the WEAK and TIMID!
    <spx2>  rindolf: TOTALLY !
         *  spx2 examines the war grounds


    <edeca>  Hrm. More infernal questions, mainly because I am trying to
             make my perl prettier and contain less nasty if's. I have
             $foo and $bar which are obtained from split(/ /, 'kitten
             loving'). But I don't want undef if the split fails, I'd
             rather '' for $bar or both. What's the nicest way to do
 <Khisanth>  ($foo, $bar) = map { $_ // "" } split / /, $str; # 5.10
             version :)
    <edeca>  Noo 5.10! :)
 <Khisanth>  ($foo, $bar) = map { defined $_ ? $_ : "" } split / /,
             $str; # probably some other shorter ways too
  <rindolf>  edeca: [bad idea] you can also try using the
             conditional->inheritance refactoring.
  <rindolf>  :-)
          *  Khisanth pours boiling coffee on rindolf
  <rindolf>  Khisanth: I hate coffee, but I guess I deserved it.
  <rindolf>  That was a joke, of course.
 <Khisanth>  you weren't really supposed to like having boiling anything
             poured on you but I guess you are into the kinkier stuff

    -- Freenode's #perl

 <rbastic>  Juerd: eh in today's world of heavy JS on the clientside, i
            think it makes a little more sense to use the same lang.
   <Juerd>  rbastic: JS on the client side is because often it's the
            only option the universe provides.
 <rbastic>  Juerd: from a business perspective, you reduce the
            complexity and potential difficulties in finding new hires
            with the same skillset
 <rindolf>  rbastic: have you heard of RJS?
   <Juerd>  rbastic: On the server side, however, you have great
 <rbastic>  rindolf: no, what's that?
  <Caelum>  larry wants perl6 to run on javascript :)
 <rindolf>  rbastic: "One Language; and One Sayings".
   <Juerd>  rbastic: Exactly. I would never hire a server side
            programmer who knows *only* Javascript, and is too stupid to
            learn whatever we're using on the server side.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: my translation to a sentence from the Tower of
            Babel myth.
 <rbastic>  Juerd: i'll agree with that also. any real programmer knows
            or has at least coded in half a dozen languages before
   <Juerd>  From a business perspective, you should avoid crap coders at
            all cost.
   <Juerd>  Knows *or* has coded... Hmmm...!
 <rindolf>  rbastic: though according to what most scholars believe it
            was not about using one language but rather thinking the
   <Juerd>  I hope they haven't coded in half a dozen languages without
            knowing them.
   <Juerd>  That'd be scary.
   <zshzn>  Reality is scary, Juerd
  <talexb>  Hmm, BASIC, FORTRAN, COBOL, assembler, C, more assembler, C,
            Pascal ... Perl!
    -- The Grand Unified Programming Language

 <rindolf>  rbastic: now I'm working with C++.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I found out that my project compiles really
 <rindolf>  rbastic: under 5 or 10 minutes on a P4-2.4GHz with 1 GB of
 <rindolf>  rbastic: maybe KDE is making g++ look bad.
 <rbastic>  rindolf: yeah, i'm not a big KDE fan
 <rindolf>  rbastic: actually I'm using KDE-3.5.8 here.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I was talking about the compilation speed of KDE
            apps and KDE itself.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: possibly because each file has half-a-gazillion
 <rindolf>  My C++ code is a server one, so we don't have too many deps.
 <rbastic>  yeah, isn't there a way to cache header files? ie. in their
            "compiled" form?
 <rbastic>  or is that something I'm remembering from some other
            programming language that purported to build on top of C?
 <rindolf>  rbastic: MSVC has that.
 <rbastic>  ahh, nods
 <rindolf>  rbastic: no, Visual C++ has precompiled headers.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I remember that I kept deleting them.
 <rbastic>  yeah, couldn't remember
 <rbastic>  lol
 <rindolf>  Pascal compiles very quickly.
 <rindolf>  That's one of the things I enjoyed in Delphi.
 <rbastic>  ugh, the app i'm been maintaining in Java was originally a
            fat client/server desktop app, written in Delphi
 <rindolf>  rbastic: ah.
 <rbastic>  i remember booting up the old app for the first time, and
            being amazed at how slow it was
 <rbastic>  eventually, i had to duplicate a feature in the Java code
            and i wasn't sure how it was implemented before
 <rindolf>  rbastic: you mean the Java app is faster? :S
 <rbastic>  so being as i had no Delphi experience, and the newer Delphi
            environments made NO sense to me at all, i just opened up
            the SQL Server query analyzer
 <rbastic>  rindolf: yes, but only b/c the Delphi programmer was an
            idiot, issuing queries over and over again needlessly
 <rbastic>  rindolf: if you could've seen the MSSQL Performance Analyzer
            or whatever, it was basically just.. Query1, Query2, Query3,
            Query1, Query2, Query3, repeat.
 <rbastic>  it was probably the worst ive ever seen in my life.. belongs
            on www.thedailywtf.com

    -- Can I haz a fast compiler on Freenode's #perl

  <rindolf>  scrottie: hi.
 <scrottie>  hi rindolf!
  <rindolf>  scrottie: are you the scrottie from use.perl.org?
 <scrottie>  yeah.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: ah, nice to meet you.
  <rindolf>  Well, chat with you on IRC at least.
          *  scrottie cowers from the swinging fist probably coming his
  <rindolf>  scrottie: I'm "Shlomi%20Fish"
 <scrottie>  oh, heh, thanks
  <rindolf>  It's a curse.
 <scrottie>  hmm. i vaguely remember interesting stuff from you but
             can't honestly place what.
 <scrottie>  I know I've seen you around here before too.
  <rindolf>  Yeah, my use.perl.org blog is mostly technical and
 <scrottie>  I post on use.perl.org entirely too much.
  <rindolf>  So it may be a bit boring.
  <rindolf>  Sometimes it's a bit philosophical.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: yes.
 <scrottie>  heh. and mine is offensively off-topic.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: I have other blogs.
 <scrottie>  I've posted to livejournal twice!

    -- I think too much - therefore I blog too much on Freenode's #perl

    <rindolf>  Can we add styles like <b>, <i>, etc.?
    <rindolf>  Or colours?
    <rindolf>  Or blink?
    <rindolf>  Or images?
    <rindolf>  Or flash applets?
   <scrottie>  <banner>!
 <alanhaggai>  rindolf: No I think. Google's Web Application does not
               allow them. It is just a <textarea>.

    -- How intrusive do you want your text to be?
    -- Freenode's #perl

  <rindolf>  A lot of ise's [in Aspell's British Spelling checker] are false 
  <rindolf>  positives even.
  <rindolf>  People who say $minor_spelling_correction even, are lam.
  <rindolf>  lame even.
  <rindolf>  I never get tired of these self-referential jokes.

    -- Freenode's #perl


	Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish      shlomif at iglu.org.il
Homepage:        http://www.shlomifish.org/

I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V.

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